


Indemnity

by rhith



Category: H.O.T. (Band)
Genre: Drama, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:26:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22268641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhith/pseuds/rhith
Relationships: Ahn Chilhyun | Kangta/Moon Heejoon, An Seungho | Tony/Jang Woohyuk, Moon Heejoon/Lee Jaewon
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

"How can you do this to me?" Hee Jun frowned at the half naked man that sat on the bed.

There was no answer.

"Kangta, answer me!" He crossed his arms.

Kangta had his hands on his chest hiding himself, out of shame and embarrassment, "I needed a change..."

"A change? What are you talking about?"

"You don't love me..." He looked up at Hee Jun, seeing his confused expression, "You might love me but you never express it. At least he does."

Express it? The constant reminders Hee Jun gave Kangta of love wasn't enough? Or how gentle he was when they did it? Or how he would hug him at any time and place?

Hee Jun was baffled by this and glared at him, "Get out."

"What?" Kangta looked around the room, he lived with Hee Jun. He had nowhere else to go.

"I said get out." He slowly raised his voice.

"I live here though..."

"I don't give a shit! This is my place and you brought another man in here!" He grabbed Kangta's arm making him stand, "I don't care where you go...just get out of here."

Hee Jun gave Kangta a shirt and dragged him to the front door. He watched as the other man put his shirt on, "When I calm down a bit, you can come by and get your stuff."

Kangta looked at him shocked, "Hee Jun..."

"I already went through this before with you. You claimed it was an accident...but seeing you...hearing you today with that man. I'm not sure what I believe." He opened the door and motioned Kangta out, "I'll call you..."

Kangta stepped outside and looked back at Hee Jun. He just stared at him, Hee Jun slammed the door and locked it. He walked into the bedroom, the bed was a mess. He pulled off the blankets and sheets, and stuffed them in a hamper. He fell back onto the naked mattress and stared at the ceiling.

It wasn't the first time he caught Kangta with someone else. The other time Kangta claimed they were very drunk and it was a stranger. Hee Jun was blinded by his love for Kangta and believed him.

It was worse this time because Jaewon had called up Hee Jun. Jaewon had seen him with another man, going out to lunch, flirting, and kissing. Hee Jun asked Kangta about it, but denied it. Hee Jun knew that Jaewon wouldn't lie, it wouldn't be Jaewon-like for him to do so. He trusted a good friend more than a lover that he caught once before. So he finally made an effort to catch them and he succeeded.

He rolled onto his side, he let out a sad sigh. He didn't know who to go to, he feared his good friends would just go, _"I told you so"_. It was Kangta's nature to always have constant change. He can't stay with one person, he would get bored. Tears blurred Hee Jun's vision, not because he was sad but because he was frustrated. Frustrated that he believed Kangta would be with him forever. He sat up and wiped his face off, "Don't get upset...it won't help." He reassured himself and made his way out of his place. He had to talk with someone...anyone.

_Love always comes back to hurt you again…_


	2. Chapter 2

"You knew that it would happen again." Woo Hyuk set a can of soda down on the coffee table for Hee Jun. Then sat down in a big leather chair.

"I thought maybe he changed." Hee Jun stared at his feet.

"Can't teach an old dog new tricks." He smirked, "Kangta's life has always been changing, he likes change. He doesn't like the same old thing over and over."

"I know...I tried my best to change it up every once in a while." He looked up at Woo Hyuk, "He said I didn't express my love for him."

"He did?" Woo Hyuk shook his head, in disagreement, "I've even seen you express your love. And we don't hang out that much anymore."

Hee Jun leaned back against the couch, "I guess I'll just move on..."

"You know you won't." Hee Jun looked at Woo Hyuk confused, "I know for a fact that you are deeply in love with Kangta. I mean you forgave him the first time...you were always there for him."

Hee Jun frowned, "You're right...but..."

Woo Hyuk stood up, "If you do move on just don't go all depressed, alright? It isn't like you to be depressed." He checked his watch, "I have to go pick up Tony. Want to come?"

Hee Jun shook his head as he stood up, "That's alright. I'm going to go home and sleep or something."

Woo Hyuk nodded and they made their way to the door, "Are you going to go see Jaewon?"

"I was just going to call him..."

"You should visit him...he's been really worried about you." Woo Hyuk smiled a little, "I mean he did tell you about Kangta and stuff."

Hee Jun nodded, "I guess, I'll stop by his place."

They left Woo Hyuk's apartment, "Do you want to have dinner with me and Tony tonight?"

Hee Jun shook his head, "That's alright, I don't want to intrude. I mean you haven't seen him in a few days."

"You won't be intruding..." Woo Hyuk locked the door.

"It's alright, I'll probably go to bed early tonight."

Woo Hyuk shrugged, "Ok then." They walked outside to Woo Hyuk's car, "If you ever need anything, Hee Jun...me and Tony are here..."

Hee Jun just nodded and Woo Hyuk opened the car door, "Jaewon is here for you too...but..."

"But what?" Hee Jun was confused, the way spoke of Jaewon was indifferent.

He just shook his head, "Nevermind. Anyways...I better get going."

Hee Jun waved and walked to his own car. Once he got in, he made his way to Jaewon's place.

\-----

"He kicked me out." Kangta sat down on the bed that resided in the room.

The man sat down on the bed next to Kangta, "I told you he would catch us."

"I know...but it's best this way right?" Kangta looked at him, "Best because I love you Jae Wook."

Jae Wook was a tall, skinny yet built man with jet black hair. He was a few years older, and has been with both men and women. He wrapped his arms around Kangta's waist, "Now we don't have to be secretive about this?" Kangta kissed him lightly and nodded.

_"You might love me but you never express it. At least he does."_ That statement Kangta made was a lie. Jae Wook never said or expressed his love for Kangta. Hee Jun always did, but Kangta was bored of it. He wanted a change, so he left Hee Jun for this man.

Jae Wook lightly pushed Kangta on the bed, "Are you upset?"

"About what?"

"Him kicking you out..." He slid his hand under Kangta's shirt.

"Why would I be upset? I don't even love him..." Kangta was speaking lies.

\-----

"I caught him." Hee Jun sat down in a chair and looked up at Jaewon.

"You did?"

He nodded, "I did...and I kicked him out. He claimed he wanted a change."

Jaewon sat down across the coffee table from Hee Jun, he looked at him carefully, "How are you taking it?"

Hee Jun could see worry in Jaewon's face, it was a bit unsettling to him, "I'm upset of course. This time I couldn't forgive him..." He noticed how uneasy the taller man was, "Are you alright, Jaewon?"

He just nodded in response. Something wasn't right to Hee Jun about how Jaewon acted, "You sure?"

"Yes." He avoided eye contact.

Hee Jun stood up, "I have to get going."

Jaewon followed him to the door hanging his head as if he was ashamed of something. Hee Jun hugged him lightly, "I'll be fine Jaewon. I'll move on...so don't worry about me."

Jaewon gave him a small smile, "Alright."

"How about tomorrow night me, you, Tony and Woo Hyuk go out for a drink or something?"

Jaewon nodded, "Sure."

Hee Jun smiled, "I'll call you later then."

Hee Jun Jaewon's place with a strange feeling. He hadn't seen Jaewon act that way before was awkward feeling. He ignored it since he had other things to worry about.

\-----

Kangta sat up, his naked body covered by the blanket. He looked around for Jae Wook, he was gone. He let out a sigh, knowing Jae Wook had left. He always left Kangta alone in bed, he claims he had work to do. In the back of his mind he imagined his lover with someone else.

Why did he leave a man that loved him, for someone that just did him?

Change. Kangta always liked change, even if it would be bad. Why Group 'S' was even created, or when he did an album with Vanness. It was different. He had to change.

He merely got bored of Hee Jun, and how he expressed his love all the time. Did he like Hee Jun? Yes, but only as a friend. And only for sex. He felt nothing more than that. He used Hee Jun, mostly as a safe house. He had been with many people that Hee Jun never knew about. If Kangta was hurt he'd go to Hee Jun, only to satisfy himself.

Kangta was simply a whore.

\-----

"So Hee Jun is doing alright?" Tony sat down on the bed looking up at Woo Hyuk.

"Yea...I thought maybe we would go see him tomorrow." Woo Hyuk took off his shirt, to get more comfortable.

Tony watched him, "Are you alright? You seem....I dunno...stressed?"

Woo Hyuk grinned, "I'm fine. I hung out with Jaewon the other day while you were gone. He..." He shook his head, "Nevermind."

"Hey don't stop! You started something...what's with Jaewon?" tony pulled Woo Hyuk onto the bed.

He sighed, "I think..." He started becoming uneasy, "He might like Hee Jun."

"What makes you think that?"

"Way he spoke about Hee Jun. How he told Hee Jun about Kangta...how he had been worried." He rubbed the back of his neck, "It's not like Jaewon."

"I wouldn't worry too much." Tony smiled at him.

"If you say so..." Woo Hyuk place his hand on Tony cheek and their lips met.


	3. Chapter 3

Hee Jun opened the door, revealing Kangta standing there with a few empty boxes, "Come in."

He watched Kangta make his way to the bedroom, of course he followed, making sure Kangta didn't take anything that wasn't his. He stood in the doorway with his arms crossed, "What's his name?"

Kangta folded his clothes up, not looking at him, "Does it matter?"

"It sort of does...I'd like to know who's been banging the person I love." Hee Jun became angry.

"His name is Jae Wook. Would you like to know the names of the others?" Kangta stood up putting a box on the bed, and looking at him.

"The others?" Hee Jun 's arms fell to his side, he was surprised, "How many other have you been with?"

Kangta shrugged, "I stopped counting around ten."

"You've been with others?"

Kangta nodded, "Yea...you know those nights I left? I was with other people..."

"You slut." Hee Jun clenched his fist, "I trusted you...I love you."

"You still do?" Kangta picked up a few more things, "You're hopeless Hee Jun." He continued to lie.

Hee Jun left the room before he was going to strangle Kangta to death. He watched Kangta leave with a few boxes. Kangta stood in the doorway, "We'll probably see each other at some point..."

"Don't worry I won't speak with you." Kangta left after Hee Jun spoke.

He slammed the door, "I can't believe this..."

\-----

Kangta sat in Jae Wook's car, who looked at him, "How did it go?"

"He hates me now...I'm sure of it." Kangta looked at the taller man.

Jae Wook held Kangta's hand, "It's for the best right?"

Kangta leaned over to him and they kissed, "I'd rather be with you..."

_"Harder..." Kangta managed to say._

_The man, who never told Kangta his name, thrust into him harder. Kangta gripped the muscular shoulders of the man above him, the man rocked Kangta's body even harder. Nothing could please Kangta._

_His escape from Hee Jun was other men. Kangta feared he would fall in love with Hee Jun and be stuck. No longer a free spirit. So he went out and found strangers to bang him._

Jae Wook drove back to his place, "Want to go out for a drink tonight? Forget what has happened?"

Kangta looked out the window, "Sounds good."

\-----

Hee Jun laid down on his couch, Tony and Woo Hyuk had arrived. Tony sat by Hee Jun's feet, "Are you alright?"

"Somewhat...I just found out Kangta was with more than at least five other men."He put his arm across his eyes.

Tony looked at Woo Hyuk worriedly. Woo Hyuk let out a sigh, "Sorry to hear that..."

"What did I do to provoke this?" He used a sad tone.

Tony put his hand on Hee Jun's leg, "You didn't do anything...it's all Kangta's doing."

Hee Jun sat up and looked at Tony, "He called me hopeless, since I love him. I never cheated on him, yelled at him...and he still..." He hung his head, taking deep breaths.

Tony wrapped his arm around Hee Jun's shoulder, "Don't beat yourself up over this. Kangta is the type of person who always has to change."

"It's not fair though. I still love him..." Hee Jun sniffed.

Woo Hyuk stood up, "We should go out."

Hee Jun looked at Woo Hyuk, "What?"

"We gotta go drink...all this depressing crap is getting to me." Woo Hyuk looked away.

Hee Jun looked at Tony, "I'm alright with that...Jaewon can come too right? I mean I invited him last night..."

Tony nodded, "Sure."

\-----

"Forget him, Kangta." Jae Wook was sitting next to Kangta at a club.

Kangta took a drink from his glass, "I will...I never loved him anyways."

Jae Wook rubbed Kangta's thigh, "Good...you're with me now."

Kangta smiled and continued to drink. Forgetting Hee Jun was going to be harder than he played it off. He was a whore and a liar. Kangta set his glass down and put his head against Jae Wook's shoulder. The other man continued to rubbed Kangta's thigh, "Speaking of him..." He pointed to an area.

From across the room Kangta saw his fellow ex-members, drinking away. He looked away, "Forget them..."

Jae Wook smiled and squeezed Kangta's thigh, "If you say so."  
\--  
Woo Hyuk watched Jaewon closely, who sat next to Hee Jun. Jaewon remained quiet as he drank. Tony nudge him in the ribs, telling him to stop staring at Jaewon. Woo Hyuk was going to look at Tony but spotted Kangta across the room, "Great..."

Hee Jun looked at Woo Hyuk, "Something wrong?"

"Kangta is across the room with someone." He looked at Hee Jun, "I wouldn't look though...he just wants to make you upset."

Hee Jun looked down at his glass, "Must be Jae Wook."

"Jae Wook?" Tony looked across the room.

"Yea..." Hee Jun glanced at Kangta and frowned, "Forget him...I have you guys. He only has him."

Tony nodded and poured more alcohol in Hee Jun's glass, "Let's just drink and have fun."

\-----

Kangta fell back onto the bed and let out a sigh. Jae Wook crawled on top of him, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing..." He put his arms around the man's neck.

Jae Wook kissed him as he removed Kangta's shirt, "Just forget about him...you said you didn't love him."

"I know...guess it just bothers me to see he wasn't upset." Kangta pushed Jae Wook off of him, then removed the rest of his clothes.

Kangta sat on top of Jae Wook, both of them stripped of their clothes. Jae Wook admired Kangta's body. His hands ran up his thigh to the man's hips. Kangta lifted himself up then came down on Jae Wook's erection. Looking at the ceiling he bit his lip to prevent a moan, sex made Kangta forget the pain he felt.

\-----

"I'll take Hee Jun home." Jaewon had offered.

Woo Hyuk hesitated, "You sure? Me and Tony can..."

Jaewon looked at Hee Jun who was struggling to stay on his feet. He nodded, "All I have to do is make sure he gets in bed...he's about to pass out anyways."

Tony agreed, "Let Jaewon take him home..."

Woo Hyuk sighed, "Fine..."

Jaewon smiled and went over to the drunk Hee Jun, "Hee Jun, time to go."

Hee Jun started laughing and hugged Jaewon. They got a cab and piled in. Woo Hyuk watched the cab drive away, "I have a bad feeling about this..."

"Why? Jaewon will make sure Hee Jun gets home safely." Tony linked arms with him. "Stop worrying." He smiled and started walking pulling Woo Hyuk along, "Let's go home."

Woo Hyuk looked down the street and sighed again, "Alright."

\-----

_Open your eyes…_

Hee Jun kept them closed. Not responding to what he told himself. He felt soft skin under his fingers. He heard faint moans.

_Kangta?_

Thrusting harder. Soft hands gripped his shoulders. sounds of the bed creaking was heard. Touch of the man's lips was also soft, the taste sweet with alcohol.

_What are you doing?_

Hee Jun opened his eyes, vision was blurred and the room was dark. He didn't recognize who he was doing it with. He continued though, it didn't matter who it was. He had to forget the man he loved.

_Stop, Hee Jun. Why are you banging some stranger?_

He closed his eyes again and opened them fixing his gaze on the man below him. "Shit..." The word slipped out as he realized it was Jaewon.


	4. Chapter 4

Hee Jun sat at the edge of the bed with just his pants on, hands on his head. He cursed under his breath realizing what he had just done, "I'm so stupid..."

Jaewon was getting dressed, he glanced at the upset Hee Jun, "Um...Hee Jun..."

He didn't look at Jaewon, he was ashamed, "Jaewon this was a mis---I mean...I was dr..." He stopped talking, anything he said would sound bad.

"You were drunk, well you are somewhat still. It was a mistake...I understand." Jaewon zipped his pants up.

"You're my friend, Jaewon. What I just did was..." He let out a heavy sigh, "Shit..."

Jaewon frowned, "Don't beat yourself over this...I could have stopped you."

Hee Jun looked at him, "Then why didn't you?"

Jaewon put his jacket on, "I..." He shook his head and left the room.

Hee Jun followed him, "Jaewon, wait." He grabbed the other man's arm, "Why didn't you?"

Jaewon turned his head away so he couldn't see Hee Jun, "Forget it Hee Jun...tonight never happened." He pulled away and ran out of the house.

Hee Jun just stood there watching him run off. He didn't understand why Jaewon ran off. Or why he didn't stop Hee Jun from doing what he did.  
\--  
Jaewon ran down the street without stopping, "You idiot! Why didn't you tell him?" He tripped over his feet and fell to the ground. Scraping his palms and knees, he felt tears going down his cheeks. He started grinding his teeth together trying to stop crying, "Stupid..."

He pushed himself up to sit on his legs, "I'm only a friend..." He looked up at the early morning sky, still crying, "Nothing more..."

\-----

The moonlight shone through the window into Kangta's eyes. He sat up and yawned, immediately felt the pounding in his head. It was only one in the morning, and Jae Wook had left. He got dressed and left the apartment. He felt empty inside, and he craved sex. Even if it meant to sell his body off.

Nothing satisfy his whore like ways. Hee Jun was still in his mind, he had to get rid of him. It was early in the morning but there were a few bars still open. And still drunkards to please.

Being a slut could only go so far....

\-----

Tony rolled onto his side grabbing the cell phone from the end table, he answered it, "H-hello?" He spoke softly since he was half awake.

"Tony....it's Hee Jun. I messed up." His tone was upset.

Tony sat up and kicked Woo Hyuk lightly, "What do you mean you messed up?"

Woo Hyuk sat up, his eyes remained shut.

"Jaewon took me home, right?"

"Yea he did...why? What happened?" Tony watched Woo Hyuk open his eyes and stare at him.

"I...um..." Tony could hear Hee Jun was struggling with something, "I slept with him..."

"You what?!" Tony looked at Woo Hyuk scared.

Woo Hyuk had guessed what was going on and he was right. Tony tried calming down Hee Jun who started panicking. He closed his phone, "We have to go see Hee Jun before he does anything stupid."

"He slept with Jaewon I'm guessing?"

Tony nodded, and Woo Hyuk shook his head, "Knew it would be bad if Jaewon took him home."

"I doubt Jaewon made him...anyways let's go." Tony got out of bed leaving Woo Hyuk behind.

Woo Hyuk let out a sigh, "Great...more problems."

\-----

"Fuck!" Jaewon threw one of his lamps at the wall. It shattered, leaving a sharp mess in his carpet. Jaewon was angry at himself, for not stopping Hee Jun and for not confessing.

"You're so stupid!" He cursed at himself.

There was a knock on the door, Jaewon looked at it, "Who the hell visits me?"

He opened the door to find Kangta, "W-what...K-kangta?"

Kangta's nose was bleeding, he had been beaten up, "H-help..." He fell into Jaewon's arms.

Jaewon pulled Kangta in and set him on the couch, "What the hell happened to you?"

Kangta didn't speak and took the towel Jaewon gave him. Jaewon frowned, he didn't want the person that hurt Hee Jun in his house. He couldn't tell Kangta to leave, the shape he was in it would seem evil.

He just went to his room, leaving Kangta on the couch. He took out his cell phone and dialed a number, "Woo Hyuk?"

"Jaewon?" He sounded angry, "What's up?"

"Kangta is here...he's in bad shape." Jaewon looked at his doorway making sure Kangta wasn't there.

"What do you mean?"

"He came to me with a bloody nose, few bruises..." Jaewon sighed, "I don't want him here but..."

"What do you want me to do about it? We're with Hee Jun right now." He still sounded angry.

"Y-you are?" Jaewon knew Hee Jun told them, which explained why Woo Hyuk sounded angry.

"Yes we are. So Kangta is your problem..." He hung up.

Jaewon closed his phone and threw it at the wall, "Asshole!"

\-----

Hee Jun sat in his living room in disbelief, "He what?"

"Jaewon likes you...why he didn't stop you." Tony looked down at his feet.

Hee Jun frowned, thinking over the situation he was in. He loved Kangta, who didn't love him. Jaewon liked him, but Hee Jun couldn't feel the same. Love Triangle almost.

Woo Hyuk came back from down the hall, "Kangta is at Jaewon's...apparently he was beaten up."

"What did you tell Jaewon to do?" Tony looked at him.

"I said it was his problem and hung up." He plopped himself in a chair as he crossed his arms.

Hee Jun frowned, "Why are you angry?"

"I just am...I knew Jaewon liked you." Woo Hyuk leaned back in his seat, "He's as bad as Kangta."

"Not true!" Hee Jun stood up, "Jaewon is a good guy...he just..."

"Don't defend him. He liked you and took advantage of you when you were drunk." Woo Hyuk raised his voice.

"Maybe he didn't! Doesn't matter anyways...maybe I was meant to be with him." Hee Jun made his way to the door.

"You love Kangta though!" Tony followed him, "Don't give Jaewon false love...it'll hurt him."

Hee Jun opened the door, "I wouldn't do that to him...I need to go out for a walk. Alone. So lock up my place when you two leave." He left.

Tony turned to Woo Hyuk, "Now what?"

"He's going to Jaewon's...since Kangta is there. It's obvious." Woo Hyuk sighed, "It's now out of our hands."

\-----

Jaewon had locked himself in his room, so Kangta wouldn't bother him. He buried himself under the blanket on his bed, he was crying. Upset that he couldn't tell Hee Jun his feelings. Upset that Kangta was in his house and that he cheated on Hee Jun.

Kangta knocked on the door, "Jaewon...are you alright?"

Jaewon didn't answered, but sat up when he heard Kangta start yelling. "Hee Jun!?"

Kangta looked at him shocked, "W-why are you here?"

"I should be asking you that..." Hee Jun crossed his arms, "What happened to your face?"

"Like you care." Kangta knocked on the door again, "Jaewon! Hee Jun is here!"

"Why is he in there? You try to sleep with him?"

Kangta was disgusted, "I wouldn't do that...he's not my type. And he just locked himself up."

"What happened to your face, Kangta?" Hee Jun changed the subject.

"I got beat up alright?! Leave me alone...it's not like you care." Kangta glared at him, "Unless you still love me."

"I do." He frowned.

They heard something breaking from Jaewon's room. Kangta grinned, "Like I said...you're hopeless." He looked at the door, "Jaewon! I'm leaving!" Kangta bumped into Hee Jun as he left.

Hee Jun sighed and went up to the door, "Jaewon, are you alright?"

Hee Jun eyes grew big as Jaewon slowly opened the door. He could see a broken lamp on the floor, "What happened?"

Jaewon frowned and didn't say anything. Hee Jun looked closely at Jaewon, eyes were red from crying. He grabbed Jaewon's arm, "Have you been crying?"

Jaewon looked away, "I'm so stupid..."

"What?" Hee Jun let go of him, confused.

"You still love Kangta...I'm nothing to you. I knew this but I still fell for you." He coughed a little, "I hate myself."

"Don't hate yourself...Jaewon." Hee Jun rubbed the back of his neck.

"I have too! It helps me forget my feelings for you...hate myself for falling in love with someone who loves another!" He put his hands on his head and closed his eyes, "I hate these feelings!"

Hee Jun hugged him, "Don't..."

He slowly opened his eyes, "Let go..."

"Don't hate yourself because of me...please." Hee Jun rubbed his back gently, "I'm not worth the pain you must be feeling."

Jaewon pushed him and ran away. Hee Jun watched him, "Jaewon..."

Hee Jun felt awful for Jaewon. He fell in love and Hee Jun didn't have the same feelings. Someone had to get hurt and it was Jaewon. And Jaewon felt too much pain before...this made it worse.  
\--  
Jaewon ran away again from Hee Jun. Nothing seemed to go right, Hee Jun tried to help him. Jaewon couldn't take it, he hated himself. He had for years because he liked Hee Jun. From the very start he did, hating himself made it easier to go on with the day. Forgetting his love for Hee Jun.

He had no clue where he was running, he just kept going. He had to get away, but he had nowhere to go. Tony and Woo Hyuk hung out with Hee Jun. Kangta made Jaewon angry. He had no one else to go.

He found himself in a park, many people were around, he didn't care. He got on his knees and screamed. Letting out the emotions he held. Love. Hate. Anger. Sadness.

He fell onto his back, "What good did that do? I still hate myself..."

\-----

Kangta stood in the doorway of Jae Wook's bedroom. Jae Wook smiled at him, "Kangta come join us."

Jae Wook was in bed with a woman, both of them were naked. Kangta walked to the side Jae Wook was on, "Who's she?"

"My lover..." He pulled him onto the bed.

"You've been cheating on me?" Kangta frowned at the woman, who smiled at him.

"Don't say it like that...you cheated on me with Hee Jun."

It was true, and Kangta didn't speak the rest of that afternoon. He, Jae Wook and the woman did it. For once Kangta felt dirty about what he was doing, allowing a woman to touch him or allow her to watch what Jae Wook did to him. Hearing her moans as Jae Wook pleased her, or when she watched the other two do it.

For once Kangta hated what he had become. A slut.  
For once he regretted cheating on Hee Jun with other men.


	5. Chapter 5

"Where are you going?" Jae Wook crossed his arms.

Kangta packed up a box, "I can't live here."

"Is this because of last night?" Jae Wook was only curious, he didn't feel bad about it. He just had two sluts with him, he didn't see the woman or Kangta as anything else.

"I guess...I mean..." He taped the box up, "Forget it..."

"Are you leaving me?" Jae Wook's tone didn't change to sadness or anger.

Kangta stood up holding the box and a bag, "Yes." He made his way to the front door.

"Where are you going to go?" He followed Kangta, opening the door for him.

"I have many friends, they'll let me crash at their place until I can find my own." Kangta frowned at the thought, he had lost Woo Hyuk, Tony and Jaewon's friendship.

"I'll see you around then." Jae Wook didn't show any emotion.

"Let's hope we don't." Kangta muttered as he left Jae Wook's place. He never wanted to see him again.

\-----

Tony and Hee Jun sat in Woo Hyuk's living room. Hee Jun was uneasy, he kept looking around, waiting for someone to speak. Tony watched him, "What's wrong Hee Jun?"

"Where is Woo Hyuk? This is his place...and he isn't here." Hee jun fiddle with his fingers.

"I live here too. He had gotten a call from the hospital..." Tony continued to watch Hee Jun.

Fear struck Hee Jun, "Hospital?! Why?"

"Why are yelling? He just needs to get some blood work done..." Tony looked at Hee jun strangely, "Why are you so worried?"

"I saw Jaewon yesterday...he ran away. I tried calling him this morning but no answer. Before I came here I visited his place...he wasn't home." He sighed.

"I'm sure he is fine. Just needed time alone..."

"He hates himself though." He frowned, "Because of me..."

"I could have told you that he hated himself." Tony shook his head, "Just forget about him...he'll be fine."

"I can't forget about him..." Hee Jun stood up, "I'm going home."

"What? You just got here though..." Tony looked at him concerned.

"Sorry...I need to get some rest." He left.

\-----

Jaewon sat under a tree in the park, he had been there all night like some bum. He just did some self-loathing, he felt like crap. His whole life seemed wrong, liking Hee Jun the way he did seemed really wrong.

He covered his face with his hands, "What is wrong with me?"

\-----

Kangta knocked on a door, which Hee Jun opened, "Kangta? Why are you here?" Hee Jun could see the boxes next to Kangta's feet.

He frowned, "I made a huge mistake Hee Jun."

"Yes you did..." Hee Jun glared at him.

"I was stupid for cheating on you. After you kicked me out, I realized how much I love you."

"You said you didn't love me though..."

Kangta nodded,"I did but it was to protect me. I feared falling in love with you...because I wouldn't be a free spirit anymore, you know?"

"Why are you here, Kangta?" Hee Jun practically ignored him.

"I love you Hee Jun." He plainly said.

Love? Did he love all those men he allowed to bang him? Hee Jun laughed a little, "Liar."

Kangta threw his arms around the other man and kissed him, "It's true, Hee Jun."

Hee Jun believed it, but in the back of his mind was Jaewon. A lonely, upset, self-hating, poor man. He didn't know what to do, forgive Kangta, or go to Jaewon.

"Don't give Jaewon false love...it'll hurt him."

Tony was right, but Hee Jun felt something for Jaewon. Even if he still loved Kangta. Was it forgiveness or friendship?

Hee Jun hugged Kangta, kissing his neck. Forgiveness won, which included lust.

\-----

Jaewon stood outside of the city, in his hand he held a small briefcase. He frowned, "This is for the best Jaewon...Hee Jun has Kangta. You have nothing...the way it should be." He sighed and got onto the bus that had taken him out of the city.

He wouldn't been seen for months.

\-----

_Hee Jun, why did you forgive him so fast?_

He shook his head trying to fight off his thoughts, he sped up the pace of thrusting into Kangta. Damaged goods never felt so good to Hee jun before. That was how he saw Kangta...damaged goods. Kangta's fault for being that way.

_What about Jaewon?_

Hee Jun growled at himself for his questioning that went inside his head. The growling caused Kangta to demand more of Hee Jun. He thrust harder. Hee Jun felt Kangta's skin as he did him, it wasn't soft anymore. It was used. The moans and screams from Kangta weren't all that arousing to him either.

Jaewon came to mind again. His soft, untouched skin. Soft moans of complete pleasure. The sweet taste from his lips.

Pervert. Here he was having sex with Kangta, but thought of something he rather have. Jaewon.

Kangta gripped the blanket below him, back arching as Hee Jun went harder. Hee Jun was angry with himself. He loved Kangta, he still did. The thought of Jaewon though...it messed with him.

_You're the whore now, Hee Jun._


End file.
